Marriage isn’t always happiness and sharing cute moments together. Nobody expected it to be that either. But sometimes, we give a very different image of marriage than what it really is. Not that I am speaking from experience, I just happen to have a few married colleagues and friends who have shared their experience with me. And the stories they shared aren’t always positive. So here are the top six regrets that married men have but suffer through them secretly:
1. Not the right woman
Marriage is a thing which should be done after careful considerations. You shouldn’t jump into marriage in the heat of the moment. I have seen so many people get married after like a year into dating and they have ended up divorcing within the next 3 years. According to statistics, 70% of marriages in USA end up in the court. A lot of women marry not because they are in love with the guy and wants to settle down. No, they marry because they love the idea of a marriage ceremony and the married life dream. While not all women are like that, it is up to the men to find out how compatible they are. If she likes the same movies as you, if she thinks the way you do, if you two have career goals which will complement one another and not get into each other’s way. Don’t marry her because she has the looks and you want to have continuous sex. Marry to build a life together. Because once you get into bed with the wrong woman, your whole life can turn upside down and you alone will suffer.
2. Leeching makes the men mad
This may be a point which divides the opinion. I completely agree with the fact that once married, the wife and kids are the men’s responsibility. The men should look after them and provide their needs. But there are certain limits. Sometimes you feel that your wife is recklessly spending your cash. Maybe, the spa massage that she took wasn’t necessary. In some cultures, like in Japan, the wife has the power to spend all of the husband’s cash. Not only that, she even can control how much the husband can spend. This kind of bias nature isn’t really good for a marriage. The men are always checking their accounts to see if there is an overspending. While most men suffer from this problem, they won’t complain about it because then the society will make him a weak person.
3. Male Space Is no more
Everyone needs their own space. Married men need it even more. I’m not talking about getting space by going to a bar or hanging out with friends, but their own space inside their home. When you are married, you are basically sharing a life together. Your home and everything in it is shared. You don’t get to have your own territory. Your wife will and most of the time does take over the home by rearranging things, redecorating and may impose a few rules. You don’t get to do whatever you want anymore for instance, leaving the toilet seat up or smoking inside the house or even keeping the dishes on the sink. This kind of restrictions does end up frustrating the men.
4. Children not always wanted
This point may be hard for a lot of people to accept. A lot of married men have secretly confessed that they wish they did not have children. It’s not like they never wanted children, they just wished they had children a bit later. They wonder about how much they could have saved if they did not have a child. Some even say that they have lost their freedom because they have to give their free time looking after their kids and not party around. Some even complained that they are stuck doing a job they hate but haven’t quit because the pay helps take care of their children.
5. Freedom no longer exists
This is one of the common regrets that married men have. A lot of men fear the idea of marriage because it has the myth regarding giving up freedom. Well, most of the time that myth is a reality. Marriage can and does sap you off your freedom. It happens even more if you have a wife who is nagging all the time and believes in the concept of doing everything together. A lot of married men have complained that they don’t have the freedom to do whatever they want to like they used to before marriage. Earlier, they would hit the bar for a couple of drinks after work. But now they have to go home and spend time with family. They can’t spend on themselves but rather have to save for the family. These are some of the things married men have complained about.
6. Variety Lost
Now before you jump on my throat and say that’s a disrespecting thing to say, let me clarify that this is basically a natural thing for men. Men are capable of having sex with one person only and that too for a long period of time. But the problem is, and most men won’t admit this, they will desire other women. If they by any chance marry too soon, then their urges will be even greater because they haven’t had the chance to bring variety in their life. Every guy will have a fantasy or two with some girl and they’ll admit that if they weren’t married they probably would have approached that girl. Most men are loyal and truly love their wives but if they are absolutely honest to themselves, then they will admit having an urge for other women.